DF-21 Forums

[DarthDoctor]

What's the best one liner you have said or had a friend say? Just something that sounds weird and funny in and of itself, eg,

"I'll leave you to your productive grunting," me

or

"Ahhh! Cat stack overflow!" me friend Dave

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"At least, I think it was primitive DD that was the source of the bug" - Nottheking

[Burning Gundam]

[Llyren]

I've heard a ton of great ones. Some of my favorites are:

- "Where's the toilet? It's too dark out here, damnit--I can't see!"
- "Can I have the car? I mean the CD? I mean the phone!"
- "Zimbabwe's a great place. Ever been there? Neither have I."
- "I'm very particular about my banana!"

Check out my full collection: The Random Quote List. Some DFers will find themselves on there, so take a look!

[Nottheking]

One of my favorites (and my mom's favorite) quote is actually from the game Hexen:

"Worship me, and I may yet be merciful... Then again, mabye not." -Korax

As far as what the funniest thing I've heard one of my friends say, I'll have to think about that...

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Wake up, George Lucas... The Matrix has you..

[Fish]

"Normal" is a setting on a washing machine. -Anonymous

[Barry Brien]

"Minimum wage, minimum effort" - My friend Martin (malleus maleficarum to you guys)

[japh]

http://www.thesatya.com/ircjoke.html

[darth bane]

There is sooo many I know...lets pick some of the best from my quotes. Quite a few here, but since I have a few hundred picking the best 15 or so is ok

I've also explained who each person is in relation to me for those who don't know me well.
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“Sometimes the very best planned assaults that should win simply fail because your hero trips over an invisible turtle” –Adam

"My bra is soft!" -Cynthia Huffels (one of my female friend's & Klars's sister)

"I'm sorry, lets go fight!" -Becky Koski (Cyn's best friend)

"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
–Jacob

“Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!”
–Sarah Campbell (jacob's Ex)

“I find myself at a crossroads, one to determine my future love life. At one end, I have a Tyrant, the other, D (a girl). Admittidly not a very good choice. I mean multiple limbs, longing for blood, cold-blooded, scale-covered hide, chitin carapace, and no soul!!! Then of course, there is the Tyrant…” -Jacob Lachance (note: a "Tyrant" is an evil alien from our novels. Anyone remembering the "Xenomorphs" from the early version of ORIII & merc will know them)

“It will get more shallow” –Adam as he was crossing a river with Sarah right before he sunk under his head “maybe not” –what he thought afterwards

“What is a Vanessa???” –Catlin (my other best friend)

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin

“Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend!!!” –Rob Galbraith (my D&D DM & teacher)

" What's wrong? " = What meaningless self inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? -Ashley Bradley (my EXes sister)

“Adam...I luv u in a non sexual way” –Tiko (Sarah's best friend)

“I only gave his daughter food poisoning, you gave his daughter morning sickness!” –Adam to Catlin on why Ted (Tineka/Cynthia/Theo's father) was gonna kill him first.

“Matt, you are an unholy pudgy bastard!” -Jacob
“Yeah, well remember even unholy people have feelings too you know!” –Matt

“Where the f*** did summer go???” –Jacob Lachance

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"I want to change the world, but God won't give me the source code" -Adam

[AlexG]

Oh, has Catlin gotten into trouble?

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This thread is going to die... isn't it?

[Burning Gundam]

"I didn't do it!" (Me)

"Cars, onions, planes,..This campus hates me!" (Keitaro from Love Hina)

"Watch out for old ladies in cars, and most of all, watch out for little old ladies in cadillacs." (My Dad)

"I am JESUS!!!" (A prank call my friend John did once)

"Girlfriends are like cars. It's good to have them, but they can be a royal pain in the arse and expensive at times." (Me)

"It's only funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious!" (On the back of a shirt I saw once)

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I don't think outside the box... I customize it.

[AlexG]

Playing speed chess (For those who don't know you don't get to think, just cram the entire game into 5 minutes), I put my queen diagonally in front of a pawn.

ME: "Sometimes I feel so stupid!"
MY OPPONENT: "Feel?"

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This thread is going to die... isn't it?

[Nottheking]

[Burning Gundam]

If that weren't sad enough, my ex-best friend beat me in less than three moves. I haven't played since. But that's not the reason we're not friends anymore.

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I don't think outside the box... I customize it.

[Darth Oosha]

I have a few in an old text file.

"Where were you guys? I was running out of inanities!" ~H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock

"I heard on the radio yesterday that some guy named Patrick Haslow is a cheeky bastard. What does it all mean?" ~Matt H

"On the contrary, Thrawn. As of now, I am all that is NOT indispensible to the Empire." ~Joruus C'baoth, insane EU Jedi

"I resolve to rock out more in the future. People will be like "Hey, want to go do stuff?" and I'll be like \"<a href=http://www.google.com/search?q="can't+too+busy+rocking">CAN'T TOO BUSY ROCKING</a>.\"" ~Matt Boyd

These are all from different people IARL, back when I still sort of had one:
"I always talk in third-person."
"Yes, that would take you, literally, a long time."
"Oh, frappe!"
"Aloha! Wait, is that even Spanish?"
"I want to be like the guy in A Beautiful Mind, only not crazy."
"I'm a woman!"

And of course, there are lots of good ones related to Bungie. It seems like I've been taking them for granted for so long, basing almost everything I say on them, that it's hard to actually list them. Actually, maybe I shouldn't give away my secrets here, such as they are.

"Okay. You know what? Screw it. The nice guy approach is very obviously not what is needed here." ~The Bungie Webmaster (pretty much everything the Webmaster he's said is quotable)

[Darth Oosha]

There are also some that I got stuck in my head and wanted to write down, but didn't really have a place to use. These are the printable ones that I'm sure I've never posted anywhere before.

"Today, Earth...tomorrow the world!"
"I'm going to go spit in the little Bill Gates grave I dug in my backyard."
"There's no 'I' in 'my pants.'"
"If I had a nickel for every time I'd heard that, I'd own these pants!"
"We put the 'arse' in 'embarassing.'"
"Headshot on yo' arse!"
"Ow, my Death Star!" (like bending your Wookiee, only more obvious to me what it really means)

[DarthDoctor]

"Thank you! You disprove the myth that all ugly people are intelligent!" - Me

"Those hugs were uncalled for! Take these! :: hug :: x3" - Me, again

"Your face feels so weird. Both prickly and soft..." - My gf, when I needed a shave.

"Oh, you think you can disgust me to death by stripping? You sick bastard! Just for that, you die, you sick f***!" - Me, playing the last level of Wolfenstien (again)

_________________
"At least, I think it was primitive DD that was the source of the bug" - Nottheking

[Darth Oosha]

"I'm from the Ugly People Anti-Defamation Society. We're dedicated to eliminating the stereotype of ugly people as 'smart' and 'nice'." ~Dilbert guest star, paraphrased or misquoted