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Tom Resnick
Trandoshan
Joined: 30 Sep 2003
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 Posted: Nov 24, 2003 17:37 Post subject: DF fan fiction |
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“…With a sputtering gasp, the blaster pistol went dry, much to Katarn’s disbelief… had he really emptied five hundred units into Mohc without even slowing him down?! Evidently. He knew he had no extra clips, and quickly cast his well-loved weapon aside as he dove into a nearby maintenance niche, desperately searching the pouches in his plasma-scorched utility jacket for something else with which to defend himself. His options were painfully few: He had all of four class-3 thermal detonators strapped to his belt, and he had his fists. For a moment, Katarn indulged the ridiculous consideration of attacking the Phase III Dark Trooper weaponless, and almost laughed aloud at the mental image it presented – the armor couldn’t be dented with a slugthrower, much less his futile pounding.
...A rasping clang and the trembling of the sheet-metal flooring brought Kyle’s attention back to his situation. After months of planet-hopping and covert operations, Katarn’s mission was almost complete; hired by Mon Mothma, former senator and currently spokesperson for the Rebel Alliance, Katarn was to put an end to a “top-secret” Imperial project, involved in the creation of a new super droid-stormtrooper, code named “Dark Troopers.” These Dark Troopers were essentially tireless, ruthless soldier droids encased in a revolutionary armor and incapable of feeling pain; with them, the Empire would take ground combat to a whole new level of slaughter…"
***
I've always felt that to be more accepted in canon, the events in Dark Forces would benefit from getting a "cinematic" face-lift... thinking in terms of how a particular event would be portrayed on-screen. I've been thinking about how to write the final battle with Mohc, 'cuz in a movie, if you fight a big, plot-involved boss, it'd never happen by just railing on the guy 'til he died. I might post more of my efforts later...
...or should I? What do you think?
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T-Minus 15.193792102158E+9 years until the universe closes! |
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Taton
Trandoshan
Joined: 25 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Nov 24, 2003 20:37 Post subject: |
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Didnt you post ths a while back? I remember something about the thermal detonator being just the right size...
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"A fight should be clean and elegant, without waste"
-Asuka Langley Sohryu, Evangelion |
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The MAZZTer
Death Star
Joined: 25 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Nov 24, 2003 22:42 Post subject: |
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I like it.  Write more!!! 
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Kir Kanos
Gamorrean
Joined: 28 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Nov 25, 2003 06:56 Post subject: |
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Obviously Kyle blows off Mohc's head and uses it for bowling.
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"Curse you, Kanos!!! Why don't you just DIE?!" |
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Tom Resnick
Trandoshan
Joined: 30 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Nov 25, 2003 16:46 Post subject: |
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Yes, except for the "bowling" part.
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T-Minus 15.193792102158E+9 years until the universe closes! |
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Nottheking
Kell Dragon
Joined: 29 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Nov 25, 2003 20:54 Post subject: |
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Well, what do you expect Kyle to use to kill that lone, pathetic Imperial officer sitting by the escape shuttle? Personally, in the game, I don't bother wasting ammo on him; I blast the power generators!
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Wake up, George Lucas... The Matrix has you.. |
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AlexG
Dark Trooper Phase 1
Joined: 25 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Nov 25, 2003 23:36 Post subject: |
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I had fought Moch and lost all my shields and all but 3 health. I DIED by that damned officer!
This is the sad story of my life.
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This thread is going to die... isn't it? |
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ShadowCell
Dianoga
Joined: 23 Oct 2003
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Tom Manning
Trandoshan
Joined: 27 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Nov 26, 2003 17:37 Post subject: |
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I like the story Resnick, I actully thought about doing this same thing a while ago, only I had my eye on several add-on levels, I don't remeber which ones now though...
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Tom Manning
For all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you, Stand, Men of the West!
Aragorn: Return of the King |
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ShadowCell
Dianoga
Joined: 23 Oct 2003
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| Posted: Nov 27, 2003 04:12 Post subject: Re: DF fan fiction |
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Tom Resnick wrote:
“…With a sputtering gasp, the blaster pistol went dry, much to Katarn’s disbelief… had he really emptied five hundred units into Mohc without even slowing him down?! Evidently. He knew he had no extra clips, and quickly cast his well-loved weapon aside as he dove into a nearby maintenance niche, desperately searching the pouches in his plasma-scorched utility jacket for something else with which to defend himself. His options were painfully few: He had all of four class-3 thermal detonators strapped to his belt, and he had his fists. For a moment, Katarn indulged the ridiculous consideration of attacking the Phase III Dark Trooper weaponless, and almost laughed aloud at the mental image it presented – the armor couldn’t be dented with a slugthrower, much less his futile pounding.
...A rasping clang and the trembling of the sheet-metal flooring brought Kyle’s attention back to his situation. After months of planet-hopping and covert operations, Katarn’s mission was almost complete; hired by Mon Mothma, former senator and currently spokesperson for the Rebel Alliance, Katarn was to put an end to a “top-secret” Imperial project, involved in the creation of a new super droid-stormtrooper, code named “Dark Troopers.” These Dark Troopers were essentially tireless, ruthless soldier droids encased in a revolutionary armor and incapable of feeling pain; with them, the Empire would take ground combat to a whole new level of slaughter…"
The only thing I find odd about this, now that I have a chance to actually look at it, is that it seems kind of, well, I dunno, weird. Kyle spaces out, comes back to reality at the sound of Mohc doing something assuredly bad, and promptly spaces out again. Does Kyle have ADD or what? It doesn't work particularly well to return your character to reality from some inconveniently-timed musings and then thrust that character back into inconveniently-timed musings. I've done it before. I wish I hadn't. Other than that, it looks pretty good.
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Tom Manning
Trandoshan
Joined: 27 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Nov 27, 2003 16:48 Post subject: |
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I don't thin Kyle spaced out the second time, it was back story, and I think it worked fine.
_________________
Tom Manning
For all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you, Stand, Men of the West!
Aragorn: Return of the King |
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ShadowCell
Dianoga
Joined: 23 Oct 2003
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Tom Manning
Trandoshan
Joined: 27 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Nov 28, 2003 00:13 Post subject: Re: DF fan fiction |
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Tom Resnick wrote:
For a moment, Katarn indulged the ridiculous consideration of attacking the Phase III Dark Trooper weaponless, and almost laughed aloud at the mental image it presented – the armor couldn’t be dented with a slugthrower, much less his futile pounding.
...A rasping clang and the trembling of the sheet-metal flooring brought Kyle’s attention back to his situation. After months of planet-hopping and covert operations, Katarn’s mission was almost complete; hired by Mon Mothma, former senator and currently spokesperson for the Rebel Alliance, Katarn was to put an end to a “top-secret” Imperial project, involved in the creation of a new super droid-stormtrooper, code named “Dark Troopers.” These Dark Troopers were essentially tireless, ruthless soldier droids encased in a revolutionary armor and incapable of feeling pain; with them, the Empire would take ground combat to a whole new level of slaughter…"
As you see the bold parts show where he spaced out and when he came back, after that there is nothing to show him spacing out again.
That is how it is written. If Resnick ment it to be this way he wrote it fine, if he ment him to space out again he did not state that clearly.
_________________
Tom Manning
For all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you, Stand, Men of the West!
Aragorn: Return of the King |
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ShadowCell
Dianoga
Joined: 23 Oct 2003
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| Posted: Nov 29, 2003 00:05 Post subject: Re: DF fan fiction |
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Tom Manning wrote:
Tom Resnick wrote:
For a moment, Katarn indulged the ridiculous consideration of attacking the Phase III Dark Trooper weaponless, and almost laughed aloud at the mental image it presented – the armor couldn’t be dented with a slugthrower, much less his futile pounding.
...A rasping clang and the trembling of the sheet-metal flooring brought Kyle’s attention back to his situation. After months of planet-hopping and covert operations, Katarn’s mission was almost complete; hired by Mon Mothma, former senator and currently spokesperson for the Rebel Alliance, Katarn was to put an end to a “top-secret” Imperial project, involved in the creation of a new super droid-stormtrooper, code named “Dark Troopers.” These Dark Troopers were essentially tireless, ruthless soldier droids encased in a revolutionary armor and incapable of feeling pain; with them, the Empire would take ground combat to a whole new level of slaughter…"
As you see the bold parts show where he spaced out and when he came back, after that there is nothing to show him spacing out again.
That is how it is written. If Resnick ment it to be this way he wrote it fine, if he ment him to space out again he did not state that clearly.
Alright alright, fine, so that's the way he wrote it, I guess I read it differently.
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Tom Manning
Trandoshan
Joined: 27 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Nov 29, 2003 00:50 Post subject: |
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I see what your saying and I agree that it might be a little akward that hecmae back to the present, only to leave again, my point was that it wasn't "Spacing out," yes he left the present and went into backstory though, yes your right on that acount.
_________________
Tom Manning
For all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you, Stand, Men of the West!
Aragorn: Return of the King |
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Tom Resnick
Trandoshan
Joined: 30 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Nov 29, 2003 19:06 Post subject: |
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BTW, that "backstory" section was just added for a little blurb I added to a paper I wrote for a college class... I don't know if I intended to keep it in the final version.
I guess I really didn't intended for him to "space out" per se, just that for a second or so he was thinking about attacking, then realized he was about to have to dodge or something.
More later...
_________________
T-Minus 15.193792102158E+9 years until the universe closes! |
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ShadowCell
Dianoga
Joined: 23 Oct 2003
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japh
Gamorrean
Joined: 30 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Nov 29, 2003 22:08 Post subject: |
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Hey, if someone wrote that story, I'd read it.
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Tom Resnick
Trandoshan
Joined: 30 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Apr 26, 2004 18:01 Post subject: |
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I'm in the process of turning my story into a series of manga comic pages.
Screenies soon.
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Nottheking
Kell Dragon
Joined: 29 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Apr 26, 2004 18:10 Post subject: |
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I wonder how it would turn out? I don't think I've seen Dark Forces in manga, but then again, I might have, and have forgotten about it.
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Wake up, George Lucas... The Matrix has you.. |
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Tom Resnick
Trandoshan
Joined: 30 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Apr 26, 2004 21:31 Post subject: |
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Some quick concept sketches -
- - -
_________________
T-Minus 15.193792102158E+9 years until the universe closes! |
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Nottheking
Kell Dragon
Joined: 29 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Apr 26, 2004 23:18 Post subject: |
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Looks fairly good, although that doesn't look too much like Kyle...
_________________
Wake up, George Lucas... The Matrix has you.. |
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Burning Gundam
Kell Dragon
Joined: 28 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Apr 27, 2004 00:30 Post subject: |
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Damn it, that's much better than what I can do. Maybe I should do an anime version of Kyle just for fun (Although I know a lot of you besides Taton and Ye Old Schoole wouldn't appreciate it).
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I don't think outside the box... I customize it. |
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Casey Neumiller
Gamorrean
Joined: 24 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Apr 28, 2004 06:11 Post subject: |
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Eh, as far as DF fanfic goes, I've been working on a novelization of DF...haven't gotten far, though. Too many writing projects.
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